This little "ditty" was found in a scrapbook which my mother compiled
during wartime while she waited for her honey to come home.  A date
scrawled in pencil tells me this may have been read by her on June
22, 1944, but I don't know where she found it. 
   Have a glass of wine (or whiskey), then just try to read this
in its entirety without cracking a smile, or smothering a giggle.  Quite
frankly, I was unable to finish reading it at all!

                                         Mary L Watts
                                         mwatts@contra.org

Enjoy:

           What Three Drinks May Do

I had twelve bottles of whiskey in my cellar, and my wife told me to 
empty the contents of every bottle down the sink or else...so I proceed-
ed to do, with much disgust, this unpleasant task.  I withdrew the cork
from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the
exception of one full glass which I drank.  I extracted the cork from the
second bottle and did likewise with the exception of one full glass
which I drank.  I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and 
poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one full glass
which I drank.
  I pulled the cork from the forth sink and poured the bottle down the
glass, which I drank.  I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and
and dramk one sink out of it and trrew the rest down the glass.  I pulled
the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork with the bottle then
I corked the sink with the glasss, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
  When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand,
counted the bottles, sinks, corks and glasses with the other, which were
twenty-nine, and as the house came by, I counted them again, and
finally had the houses and bottles and corks and glasses and sinks
counted except one house which I drank.  Then I decided that I had
the "wifiest little nicey in town".