What if condoms had corporate sponsors.  Here's some ad campaigns we
already know would work ...



Nike:                Just do it.
Toyota:              Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi:          You got the right one, baby.
Pringles:            Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos:              The freshmaker.
Flinstones Vitamins: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret:              Strong enough for a man, but ph balanced 
                      for a woman.
Macintosh:           It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Ford:                The best never rest.
Chevy:               Like a Rock.
Dial:                Aren't you glad you use it?  Don't you wish 
                      everybody did?
New York Lotto:      Cause hey -- you never know.
California Lotto:    Who's next?
Avis:                Trying harder than ever.
EverReady:           Keeps going and going ...
KFC:                 Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola:           Always the Real Thing.
Lays:                Betcha can't have just one.
Campbell's Soup:     Mm, mm good.
Nature Valley:       The Candy Bar Nature Intended
Absolut:             Absolut Stiffy.
Pontiac:             We build excitement
Arch Deluxe:         Melts in your mouth not in your hands
VW:                  Drivers wanted
GE:                  We bring good things to life.



And the number one sponsor's ad for condoms would be ...

Absolut:             Absolut Stiffy.