PersonA writes:
| PersonB sez: and there is NEGATIVE morris content here, but it's
| GOOD, and i quote his entire message, and apologize for format:
| re: sex and chocolate:
|
| PersonA,
| Some wooly thinking here, I don't believe that you have established your
| proposition at all.
|
| > 1. You can GET chocolate.
| You can also get measles, a parking ticket, or lots of other bad things.
|
| > 2. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
| While the statement is true it might also be said that when chocolate has
| gone it's gone, but with sex it can come back.
|
| > 3. You can have chocolate safely while you are driving.
| Not if you are a serious chocaholic - how do you hold the steering wheel?
|
| > 4. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
| Yes true, but what's the attraction in mere duration? How often do you sit
| through 24 hours of Wagner's ring cycle without feeling it's a mite long?
|
| > 5. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
| This only demonstrates the prudishness of western society, and besides I
| didn't know it was her turn
|
| > 6. If you bite the nuts too hard, the chocolate won't mind.
| Well..... One out of twenty so far.
|
| > 7. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called
| >    nasty names.
| Oh yes, what about Greedy and Fatso?
|
| > 8. The word "commitment" doesn't scare chocolate off.
| Aren't they an Irish band who did a movie?
|
| > 9. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
| What's love got to do with either sex or chocolate - you're confusing the
| issue by bringing in irrelevant details.
|
| >10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working
| >    hours without upsetting your co-workers.
| Not if your co-workers are reformed chocaholics.
|
| >11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face
| >    slapped.
| Well, I've never slapped anyone's face because she asked me for sex
|
| >12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
| But you do get them on the palm of your hand if you don't get sex.
|
| >13. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
| No, but it still makes you fat (permanently), and gives you pimples
|
| >14. You can have chocolate any time of the month.
| There you go, bringing your own values into the argument again.
|
| >15. Good chocolate is easy to find.
| Now I may be wrong here, but if it's GOOD chocolate that you're after its
| not that easy to find at all.
|
| >16. With chocolate, there's no need to fake it.
| I thought the new feminist dogma was that there was no need to fake it anyway.
|
| >17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
| How does this differentiate it from sex - please explain to a poor simple
| boy like me.
|
| >18. You are never too old or too young for chocolate.
| ditto (well young perhaps)
|
| >19. When you have chocolate, it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
| Stuff the neighbours
|
| >20. With chocolate, size doesn't matter; it's always good.
| When I was a tender young lad just starting out on the road of life I was
| advised by an older woman (she was 20 at the time I seem to recall) "It
| doesn't matter how big it is if you only use it like a cross cut saw".
|
| >
| All this thinking about the value of sex vis-a-vis chcolate got me to
| thinking about something I had read. Finally I managed to drag it out of the
| archives. You might like to get hold of "Is sex good for anything?", Matt
| Ridley, New Scientist, 4 Dec 93, pp36-40. Then you'll have the neo-Darwinist
| view of the world and be able to amaze your friends and aquaintances with
| your vast knowledge on the subject.
| 
| Oh, on the subject of Morris; do you, have you, danced? Or are you an
| enthusiastic onlooker?
| 
|                                 PersonB

PersonC writes:
| following PersonD's
| posting, how about this important slogan for a well known brand of
| proprietary chocolate sweets,
| "Melt in your mouth, not in your hand?"
| Surely that must finish the argument off once and for all!
| Comments please Barbara Ruth?