Some classic bumpers stickers found only in America ...




I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST!  We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

Assassins do it from behind.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

"My kid beats up your honor student."

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"

What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

All generalizations are false.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.