There were two twins, Joe and John.  Joe was the owner of an old and
  dilapidated boat.  It just so happened that John's wife died on the same
  day that Joe's boat sank.
  
  A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and, mistaking him for
  John, stated, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss.  You must feel just
  terrible."
  
  Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said, "Hell no! fact is,
  I'm sort of glad to get rid of her.  She was rotten from the beginning,
  her bottom was all shriveled up, and she smelled like dead fish.  She
  was always loosing her water, had a bad crack in her back, and a pretty
  big hole up front.  Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she
  leaked like crazy.  I guess what finally finished her off was when I
  rented her to four guys looking for a good time.  I warned them that she
  was not very good, but they wanted to use her anyway.  The damn fools
  tried to get into her all at once and she split right up the middle..."
  
  At this point the woman fainted.