===============From Oracularity #742===========
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Dear Oracle, so often misunderstood, tell me
> why is drinking beer so much more fun than drinking water?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hmmm... this will take a little research.
}
} One glass of water consumed.
} Condition:  I'm not particularly thirsty now.  I feel a bit
} refreshed in fact.
}
} 10 glasses of water consumed.
} Condition:  I feel a sensation that would, if I were mortal,
} no doubt mean that I should go to the bathroom very soon.
} Fortunately I am exempt from such natural laws.  I'm not the
} least bit thirsty, or hungry.
}
} 50 glasses of water consumed.
} Condition:  Hmmm... I don't think I care for any more, thank
} you.  That sensation I mentioned is quite strong now.  A mortal
} could not stand it.  Anyway, I think it's time to move on to
} the next step.
}
} *ZOT*
}
} Excess water ZOTted from stomach.
} Result:  I believe I can comfortably consume liquids again now. I'll
} continue the experiment in one of your social drinking establishments
} to experience beer in it's proper setting.
}
} One glass of beer consumed.
} Result:  The taste is a tad bitter for my sensitive tastes, but
} I've tasted worse.  Again, I feel a bit refreshed.
}
} 10 glassis of beer consumed.
} Resutl: theres that feeling again.  Well, no, this is diffretn.
} I still feel like i'd like to visit one of those bathroom places,
} if I were a mortal of course.  Which I'm not.  Did I menshion
} that I could do with a snack?  I think i'l just antiZOT some
} pizza. *TOZ* Hey, theyrs a naked woman on this label!  Lisa?  Whoops.
} I guess thats the UPC coade. Sorrrybout thee typing. kees must be
} getting stickie. You know, your kinda cute fora mortal.
}
} 50 glkas fberr consmedu.
} Rsutl:no crs idoan havtapee. im above that surtovthing. im the
} orcl. buti don fell so good ridenow i thogt thers anohtr peac
} of pziza hooateit.  whus thasmell? woddchuk?! no not thatbadd.
} likamonyah.  heymy robe is wet hoo spildthebeer? yurrin? dont
} be silee imin compleed conrol. heylits goean mooon sombdy. ohwate.
} IM' worknig.  gota ZOTout thebere. *ZZZZOT* heyimsorie. icanfixit.
} imtheorcl. *ZOOT*  YEOWCH! @#&$%&*W&oD&C&c#&K@$%#*(#  damnigottaaim
} beddr. ok holdmestilfersecont ok imgonagetidnow *ZoT*
} NO CARRIER