The Baked Bean Story

Once upon a time, there lived a mailman in Ireland who had a maddening
passion for baked beans.  He loved them so much, but they always had a
very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.  Then one day he
met a girl and fell in love.  When it was apparent that they would marry,
he thought to himself, "She's such a sweet and gentle girl, she will
never go for this kind of carrying on." So he made the supreme sacrifice
and gave up the beans.  They were married shortly thereafter.

Some months later, the car broke down on his way home from work, and
since they lived out in the country, he called his wife and told her he
would be late because he had to walk home.  On his way home he passed a
small cafe and the odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming.  Since
he still had several miles left to walk, he figured he would have walked
off any ill effects before he got home.  So he stopped at the cafe and
before he left he had eaten three orders of baked beans.

All the way home, he putt-putted and after arriving, he felt reasonably
safe that he had putt-putted his last.  His wife seemed somewhat agitated
and excited to see him and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have the
most wonderful suprise for dinner tonight."  She then blindfolded him and
led him to his chair at the head of the dining table.  He seated himself
and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone rang.

She made him vow not to touch the blindfold untill she returned. She went
to answer the phone.

Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go.  It
was not only loud but as ripe as rotten eggs.  He took the napkin from
his lap and vigorously fanned the air about him.  Things had just
returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on him, so he shifted
his weight to the other leg and let go again.  This one was a true
prize-winner.

While keeping his ear on the conversation in the hall, he went on like
this for ten minutes untill he knew the phone farewells indicated the end
of his freedom.  He placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on
top of it, and smiling contentedly to himself, was the very picture of
innocence when his wife returned, apologizing for taking so long.  She
asked if he had peeked and he, of course, assured her that he had not.
At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was the suprise -- 12
dinner guests seated around the table for a happy birthday party for him.