The heaviest element known to science was recently
discovered by physicists at KEK.

The element, tentatively known as 'Administratium' has no
protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0.
However it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75
vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives
it an atomic mass of 312. Those 312 particles are held
together in a nucleus by a force that involves the
continuous exchange of meson-like particles called Morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However
it can be detected chemically, as it inhibits every reaction
it comes in contact with. According to its' discoverer,
Ben Joe Bullock, a minute amount of Administratium caused a
chemical reaction, which would normally occur in less than a
second, to take over four hours to complete, and reduced the
decay time of neutrons to several days.

Administratium has a normal half-life of about 3 years, at
which time it does not decay but undergoes a massive
reorganization in which the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons
and assistant vice neutrons change places. Studies
show that the atomic weight actually increases after each
reorganization.

Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere and tends
to accumulate near large universities, corporations and
government agencies. The newer and better maintained the
building, the higher the concentration. It is known to be
toxic at any level of concentration and will destroy any
productive reaction it comes in contact with. The only
known technique for controlling the concentration of
administratium is to Newt it.