From:         Newbie
Newsgroups:   alt.sex.bondage
Subject:      For all bondage newbies Pt 2
Date:         20 Dec 1995 18:48:08 GMT

Hey all!

Here's the next letter from Master M1 to me.

No editing has taken place.

NB

================================================


In a email that may or may not have been posted to the net
my correspondent said:

ME, M1>>No problem, but would you mind if I posted this to ASB?

NB>**Please do! I posted your original reply to the ASB <first accidentally as
  >a binary attachment, then properly> and haven't seen any response as of yet.

NB>>at it, and make it last a lifetime. Then the real smile part, "...after
  >>you are ... old and grey? Well at 55 some might think of me as old and
  >>I am gray. But you know the funny thing my 23 year old slave used to

NB>**Kudos to you, then!  I had no idea of the age of either you or S1.
  >Is the age difference common, or is it again dependant on each individual
  >relationship?

I don't know about common, but in my experience over the years it seems
that most women don't become able to accept a submissive roll until
they reach a certain age and maturity, but from what I have seen posted
in ASB and other indicators (fashion, etc.) I think this may be
changing. As for age difference, I don't know how common it is but once
again by personal observation it seems to work that way for both male
and female doms. They tend to have slaves that are younger...perhaps
age brings wisdom? Or something else, Or I could be dead wrong.

NB>**Are your desires the same from slave to slave, or do you find one slave
  >pleases you in one area, while another slave is prefered for something else?
  >In other words, do you have a different slave for each occasion/mood/desire?

One of the things that *I* need to inject into a relationship is a
feeling of being special. Some of my desires remain constant regardless
of who is my slave. i.e., my need to dominate, humiliate, etc. However
the proportions, mix and how I go about it does absolutely vary from
slave to slave, as do their reactions. NO, I don't have a different
slave for each occasion/mood/desire, but I do know that, for example,
some are total pain sluts, so when I need that I will tend to gravitate
towards them, some are party folks, so on those few occasions when I
get the time, inclination, etc., to go to a party I take those slaves,
and so forth.

After some talk about slaves, we talked about a slave getting or taking
her freedom

NB>**So then, it's dependant on the master's willingness to let go of the
>slave?  The slave cannot demand or voluntarily leave the relationship?

Of course not, except sometimes in the Masters mind. I find that some
people enjoy the "fantasy" of NOT being able to leave, but until
slavery becomes legal they always can not only demand, but obviously
can and will leave a relationship if they desire to. This to me is the
real safe word, the glue as it were that holds things together.

NB>>course it is always possible that since I don't use safewords that one
  >                                                     ^^^^^^^^^

NB>**I assume these are words/phrases known between slave/master as a sign that
  >things are treading on thin ice.  Does this then mean that a slave does have
  >the ability to say when enough is enough?  A master is then not in COMPLETE
  >contol?

LOL, gosh, you really have not read ASB very much. This is something
that has been bantered, argued, discussed, it seems forever. IMHO the
slave should NOT have a safe word, for enough is not always enough.
However, this means a very high level of responsibility for the
Master. Examples frequently are enlightening: I have a new slave, (she
who will be nameless until she commits herself fully) and we actually
(for me very very rare) engaged in some phone sex, play and talk. In
the course of that talk I ordered her loudly and firmly to drop to her
knees, and do some other things. After we had done this for about five
minutes, and were finished with that part of the conversation, she
became somehow different, I was sensitive to this. I asked her what was
wrong. She denied that anything was wrong. Finally she told me that a
loud commanding voice scared her, that the softer I spoke the faster
she wanted to do something. I also learned through this communication
that she had given me a wonderful gift, the ability to use just my
voice as a punishment a voice whip if you will. If there had been a
safe word she and I would have learned very little. I learned that she
loves me enough not to want to interfere with what I am  or what I want
and WILL serve me truly and out of some devotion (that comes from where
I know not) She learned that I am sensitive and do care for her. We
both benefited from this. However, if it were such a BAD experience for
her, she had the option of hanging the phone up, not accepting calls
from me, etc. I.e., the slave has IMHO one option only, to leave if the
Master violates her confidence. HOWEVER, having said all this I now
realize that for some, or many, the safe word does not seem to
compromise their ability to command, it rather assists them too, just
different strokes for different folks.

NB>>our catalog you need to send $4.95 to:
  >>Bon-Vue Enterprises, Inc.
  >>P.O. Box 92889
  >>Long Beach, CA 90809
  >>
  >>This assumes of course that you are a US resident.

NB>**I'm not a US resident, however I can send a US money order.  Would this be
  >acceptable?  Of course, I would also include any extra costs for shipping
  >into Canada.

I know this sounds stupid, but I no longer get involved with that, so
please call or write to the order dept, or send the 4.95 and if they
need more they will let you know. For speed 310-631-1600

NB>**This is beginning to sound like a rich man's pleasure... does it require a
  >large pocket book, or <yet again> does the amount of $$$ spent on the
  >relationship unique in each case?

I really enjoy your questions. Yes, I think it is a rich man's
pleasure. However, it does NOT have to be in money. You must be rich in
your spirit, rich in your enjoyment of life, and being rich in bucks
never hurt anyone. When I first started in the scene 40 years ago (yes
for those who do math my first experience was at the age of 15) I
didn't seem to need much money, but as my interests progressed, well I
wanted more things, I guess if I didn't have the money I could have
gotten along. Example: well a corset well made is anywhere from 125-500
bucks. The ballet toed shoes that I bought once were 185 bucks. OTOH,
rope is cheap a ball gag can be fashioned from a scarf and a hard
rubber handball (the size I find fits) and many other things can be
made. So now that I have "made it" as it were, it IS a rich man's
pleasure, but not exclusively.

NB>**It's obvious that, as with any relationship, the rules for slaves/masters
  >change from couple to couple <or group to group?>.  However, are there any
  >basic guidelines that are common throughout most or all slave/master
  >arrangments?

I was tempted to reply, of course, submission and dominance, etc., and
then I realized that since I have been in ASB I have learned that what
I used to think of as being common I now KNOW is just my view of
common. Pretty much the problems we seem to have are very often caused
by the Language we use. You may say my slave, thinking of a person who
gives you part time submission, no bondage, and controls the level of
her pain by giving you "permission" to do things, while my mental
picture may be (this is just an example folks) a person who is 7/24,
wants to be encased in concrete for days, and thinks that pain has its
limits only when they pass out. Obviously they both are slaves, but
each of the people in the above description would NOT agree that the
others "slave" was indeed a slave.

NB>**Again, thanks for your patience and time.  I know I must seem annoying
  >with all these questions, but the information you provide is helpful and
  >much appreciated.  This may end up being simply a curiosity for me rather
  >than an full blown interest, but I will never decide until I am properly
  >informed.

Very wise of you, BTW, have a merry holiday season.


M1

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