Okay, Monty Python fans (if indeed there are any left here), it's time
for the latest installment of the trivia quiz!  Sometimes it's easy, and
sometimes it's hard.  Sometimes it's long, and sometimes it's short.  But
the one thing that it will never be is official.  That's because this is
The Unofficial Monty Python Quiz #3!

Ready ... wait for it ... CUE!

1. Identify the quote:
(name the sketch for 1 pt, the character speaking for 1 pt, the actor for 1pt)

  a. "I'm not supposed to go mad until 1800!"

  b. "I suppose we make it worse by shouting."

  c. "If you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get
      yourself a goddamn stunt man!"

  d. "Aye, well, but they said Crippen was crazy, didn't they?"

  e. "I think what's happened is terribly, terribly, funny -- tragic."

2. Answer the questions: (2 pts. each)

  a. What was the purpose of each of the two expeditions to Mount
     Kilimanjaro? (1 pt. each)

  b. A man interviewing playground children was told that one of them (Eric)
     had written a sketch.  What sketch was it?

  c. Sir Robin encountered a three headed knight.  Which head had bad
     breath, and why?

  d. According to the People's Front of Judea, what is the one thing
     worse than the Romans?

  e. What character explodes in a restaurant in Meaning of Life?

By Popular Demand: (2 pts. each)

  a. Who actually won the Queen Victoria Handicap? 

  b. What is the name of the post office attendant in the fish license
     sketch? 

  c. Identify the quote: "and the Bizan shall be huge and black and the eyes
     thereof red with the blood of living creatures." 

  d. Who said "I have another disease which I'm trying to make into a
     musical." 

  e. Why, specifically, did Tony kill his father? 


And now ... the ANSWERS (for those of you what ain't already peeked)

1. Identify the quote:

  a. "I'm not supposed to go mad until 1800!"
     Sketch: The Golden Age of Ballooning 
     Character: George III 
     Actor: Graham Chapman 

  b. "I suppose we make it worse by shouting."
     Sketch: The Spanish Inquisition 
     Character: Cardinal Ximenez 
     Actor: Michael Palin 

  c. "If you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get
     yourself a goddamn stunt man!"
     Sketch: Scott of the Antarctic 
     Character: Vanilla Hoare / Miss Evans
     Actor: Carol Cleveland 

  d. "Aye, well, but they said Crippen was crazy, didn't they?"
     Sketch: Climbing the north face of the Uxbridge Road 
     Character: Bert Tagg 
     Actor: Graham Chapman 

  e. "I think what's happened is terribly, terribly, funny -- tragic."
     Sketch: Science Fiction sketch (blancmanges) 
     Character: The Detective Inspector 
     Actor: Eric Idle 
     (Doing a poor job consoling Angus Podgorny after his wife has been eaten)

2. Answer the questions:

  a. What was the purpose of each of the two expeditions to Mount
     Kilimanjaro?

     1. To build a bridge between the "two peaks" 
     2. To find any traces of the first expedition 

  b. A man interviewing playground children was told that one of them (Eric)
     had written a sketch.  What sketch was it?

     "Nudge, Nudge" 
     (Eric Idle plays the boy Eric, and he actually did write this sketch.)

  c. Sir Robin encountered a three headed knight.  Which head had bad
     breath, and why?

     1. The middle one 
     2. Because the outer ones (who control the arms) wouldn't brush his
        teeth 

  d. According to the People's Front of Judea, what is the one thing
     worse than the Romans?

     The Judean People's Front 

  e. What character explodes in a restaurant in Meaning of Life?

     Mr. Creosote 

3. By Popular Demand: (2 pts. each)

  a. Who actually won the Queen Victoria Handicap? 

     Queen Victoria 
     The outcome isn't actually shown, but since all of the contestants
     are Queen Victoria, it's natural to suppose she won.

  b. What is the name of the post office attendant in the fish license
     sketch? 

     Eric 
     "How did you know my name was Eric?"  BTW, his last name is "Last",
     according to the nameplate on the counter.

  c. Identify the quote: "and the Bizan shall be huge and black and the eyes
     thereof red with the blood of living creatures." 

     One of the prophets in Life of Brian 

  d. Who said "I have another disease which I'm trying to make into a
     musical." 

     Dr. E. Henry Thripshaw (John Cleese) 

  e. Why, specifically, did Tony kill his father? 

     For his train reservation 


        Score 1 point for each correct answer. Mind you, I've never
gotten one of these wrong. So your chance of beating my score is
approximately ... oh ... I'd say ... BLOODY NIL!